What a Ride!

Sitting here feeling like a half tone truck ran over me - opposed to the 1 tone truck the 2 previous days, I'm starting to let me get excited!!!!!

Getting excited about all the things that having chemo takes away. I'm looking forward to eye lashes (no more crying), eyebrows and more hair growth. Being able to feel hair in my hands, is a dream not too far away. I'm looking forward to being well for my kids and not making excuses to sit with them at night or tuck them in on those chemo weeks. Getting short with them when they get annoyed and don't seem to realize how unwell I felt at the time, is all in the past!!!

Friday was a mixed bag as I went in to the cancer centre for the last chemotherapy. I said my thanks to the lovely reception staff, my oncologist and more importantly the amazing cancer centre nurses. They all go that extra mile to make you feel comfortable, double check on your symptoms and help you feel a little bit normal. They make you feel like you aren't a sook and they listen and act to make things easier. I'm lucky - I only had to go for 8 sessions, some are there until the end of their days some are there for double and triple or back again for recurrence. I don't ever want to take that for granted. So goodbye cancer centre, goodbye to my healing chair 😊

Coach Present for me from me to celebrate!!!!

So here's my treatment color-in. 7 chemo spikes finished, all the tumours gone (the round ones). The others resemble radiotherapy x 6, 2 boobs to be removed and reconstructed, lymph nodes to be removed...

Thank you to Caroline, my dear friend, for distracting me throughout it all. She fed me while my ice gloves protected my fingernails and kept me entertained with the latest on clearing out your wardrobe. The bottle of verve champagne will be well served.

The sisterhood has been amazing throughout this, dinner arrived on our door yesterday, thanks to Susie, some fitting floating balloons and chocolates from Susie and Leanne and a welcoming bouquet from Heidi saying goodbye to chemo and the tumours. I received a special angel pendent, notebook and breast cancer funded pink pen from Heidi's mum, Kamilla who has been a raging supporter throughout each of my treatments. Also groceries and sweet gifts from Jill when I was stuck and Carolyn's thoughtful gifts - but mostly your care and support I've felt deeply and feel very grateful for.

My kids surprise me with little moments of care - Alexander came in my room bearing a drink of water and asking how I was feeling....such a sweetie.  I am a lucky person. Thank you for all of your prayers and healing lights sent my way.

With all this going on the cat Charlie decided to show me a fledgling bird, with a suspected broken wing - now what am I supposed to do with that right now. Turns out wildlife Victoria are racists and don't want to know about turtle doves! 'Put it out for the cat it's not a protected species'. 😕 so sad! He's sitting in the garden, we tried to catch him but he went under the house now!

Anyway so now have to get my head around radiotherapy next. Let's get to it then!!!!!

MRI Report - Celebrating

Yoo hoo "FF and his friends" have left the building!!!!!!!  I have received my written report from my lovely and excited GP today and its time for a mini celebration before my last chemo on Friday. (dancing!!!!).

Thanks Heidi for the 1st toast

EXTRACT: 

"When compared to the previous MRI, there has been complete resolution of the abnormal enhancement of the carcinoma in the upper outer quadrant of the right breast. There is no evidence of auxiliary lymphadenopathy. There is no abnormal enhancement in either breast."

MRI Results

So we met with the breast surgeon today to discuss the MRI results. After a long 1 and a half hour wait, It is with some reservation that I can tell everyone that all of the tumours are gone!!!! When comparing with my other breast (non cancerous one) they are now identical in appearance.

I am holding my excitement a little as she couldn't provide me with a written report from the radiologist. Last time she told me verbally, she forgot to tell me the most important thing that my lymph nodes were clear, it was only when I saw the written report with the oncologist that she confirmed it. Also she told me that 2 tumours had gone when in fact it was only 1.

So I meet with my oncologist on Friday morning when we will discuss in a little more detail, and I should receive the report in a week or so....yay! Then I will feel safe to celebrate once I recover from chemo.

I have been a little obsessed with my swollen ankles and calves, so kept my mind busy about the results - no apparent reason for it says the docs. Even though I have never had this before, they can't directly blame chemo as it only showed itself last Thursday - too far away from the administering of docetaxel. It could be the nexium for heartburn prevention caused by the docetaxel, so we are halving the dose to see. We halved the dose of steroids to stop the face flushing - that seemed to have worked well. Anyway so I'm keeping an eye out for DVT, deep vein thrombosis with the swollen ankles - Oh well only 1 more to go!

I should be happy about 1 more but because I know what to expect I am dreading it all the more than any of the other times :(. The accumulation of the drugs has started to make me tired in my bones!

But, I'll get through this and out the other side!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and well wishes - they have worked for me :)

Busy Appointment Week

Coming back from holidays nice and relaxed and with more dr appointments and tests.

I have been busy seeing the plastic surgeon to work out the final plan for reconstruction. Now I don't think I'm that vain, ok maybe a little in taking pride in my appearance, but I would have just been happy with 2 nicely shaped mounds for my clothes and swimmers to look normal. The cancer is the priority and dealing with that. But it seems the breast surgeon is being dictated to by the plastic surgeon, but she seems onboard.

The plastics guy, Damien, showed me pictures of his handy work. He even creates new nipples, do I want to save my other nipple?, he makes them look exactly the same...etc. so I think I am going to be easily pleased by what this guy does - he's a perfectionist and going the extra mile that I hadn't even considered. So the big question take both nipples, create new ones or save one and create one on the cancer side?? what to do.....

There are some treatment benefits by using his methods and the new order. The public system won't use this method yet but it will be the new normal in the future. It means less operations and no need for temporary spacers while radiotherapy is being administered. Spacers can move, get infected on the wounds etc So radiotherapy starts 1st or 2nd week of December. I was kind of hoping that I would have a break over Christmas but it's every day for 6 weeks, but at least I'll be finished with it all sooner.

Normal order: mastectomy insert spacers, radio, reconstruction 1, recon 2
My order: radio, mastectomy/recon at same time (no spacers), recon 2

2 recon ops because they need to flip me over back and forth for my bum and breast recon at the same time. It's too long an operation to do both. I wonder if I'll wake with more bruises than normal.

We also met with Michael chao, the radiology oncologist. I liked him a lot. Although the way he was supporting Damien I started to wonder if it was a bit of a Boys Club. He went through the historical events with us, explained my initial mammogram and ultrasounds and the BIG question that all of the professionals ask me:

'If you have no cancer family history, no lumps or symptoms, you are under 50, what made you go for a mammogram? Was a dr keeping an eye things?' I reply, 'no just started listening to my body and some friends who were impacted'. It was a God Wink and I caught it - what can I say...I am very lucky. A bees fart away from secondary cancer.


A side effect of radiotherapy is it can give you breast cancer!!! Go figure! So the benefit of having surgery after radio is they remove all of the tissue when it's finished, so that risk is taken away. He also gave me his recurrence possibility stat, being 30% without radiotherapy, 10% with radiotherapy. I think this is a good stat and benchmark to be.

I'm off to have my bum ct scanned for good blood vessels for my bum boobs. Then we'll know what angle will be removed on my buttocks.....hah for my bum lift!!!! For someone who would have never considered plastic surgery, I will have had 3 procedures by the end of this.

Another MRI scheduled to see how the docetaxel is working on FF and his friends.

Chemo went well yesterday with my meditation cd, I didn't feel the cannula or needle go into my arm at all. Either that or the skill of the nurse. But I was relaxed. Mum, love her, fed me as I had my boxing gloves on and couldn't do much. John went to work to make up some time. So chemo will hit me Sunday night I presume, then 4-5 days down and back to work Friday. I'm reducing the steroids (dex) to try and reduce my fluidy fat and blistered face (it's not supposed to do that dex is supposed to reduce side effects including fluid retention!) Anyway, I'll give it a go and increase it back if I need to they said. Luckily, Johns photoshop skills meant he could slim down my face in our family portraits we ordered. He gave it back to the photographer to process for our big family portrait for the wall. (Yes ok maybe I am a little vain)..

1 more chemo and 4 weeks to go. Then part 2 of my journey.

Today I asked Andres did he want to see my hair growing but "nah Mum not if its' boy hair - only if it's girls hair". It has to be longer than his hair for me to take off my wig and show him :)

nice surprises

Making a decision to have family photo's done with a wig on my head and a puffy face from chemo was a bit daunting! But the timing was now as the school had a fundraiser to have a family portrait session and given that photographer John rarely features in our family snaps - it had to be done.

 

 

Well it's a place in time, it's not like we will forget it easily, so maybe it will be a momento hanging on our wall of 'when the going gets tough.....' And remind us how we can overcome things as a family.

Surprisingly, we had a lot of fun doing it as a family and we forgot about stuff. 

Even more surprisingly, when we got home we received a call from the photographer saying that they needed to refund us as the school community had donated a complimentary package to us with a special card with best wishes. I was so overwhelmed I had to stop the lady because I couldn't take in any more information she was giving me. 

We are so grateful for the lovely gesture and when this disease isolates and makes everyone feel uncomfortable it's things like this that bridge that gap of humanness.

Holidays!!!

Holidays!!!!!

Yay finally on our holiday on the plane writing this. It was the first stress free travel with kids we've ever had. Probably bring packed 2 days before and of course John's packing database has made a huge difference....

A closer substitute for our cancelled Disneyworld and the U.S but what we can manage given my 3 weekly treatment plan. I craved for some warmth and family time so Port Douglas it is ......30 degrees everyday and sunshine!!!!! 

We had a great time relaxing by the pool, not thinking about treatment plans, side effects and outcomes. It was on my bucket list to take the kids snorkeling on the reef (a bucket list I wrote before I was diagnosed). So we went snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef searching out Nemo, no cooking, lots of seafood and reading. We saw crocodiles on a river paddle steamer cruise, Andres was very excited he got to skipper the boat, and so did Alexander.

So we didn't see a lot of the sites, the Daintree, Mossman Gorge etc
were all there to be experienced but an excuse to come back when we are more energetic. 

Managing the wig and my baldness worked out okay in the end. No one looked at me weird. I bought a chemo cap from Canada the is like a funky UV swimming cap with little ties that hang down the back. A mum actually invented it to protect her boys heads from melanoma when they are at the beach. They breath and dry and come in lots of funky coloured and designs. It's a great resource I'm not sure many people know about them. Www.nimmo.com. Anyway I wore a scarf and my hat the rest of the time.

Now we are back to specialist appointments and tests and chemotherapy again. 2 more to go of my healing chair and 4 weeks in time terms.

Plastic Surgery and the order of things

Plastic Surgery Planning

Yesterday was day 7 since chemo and the first day I felt 99% well. Yay - although this was a longer recovery for some reason. My body felt better at day 4 but my razor blade mouth, tongue and gums, eye watering, nose drying and a new one - red flushing rash on my face. Yay - that goes well with my hot flushes of enforced menopause But the best thing.....I don't need to use blush anymore!!! So when you have 1 problem, it's fixed by something else yet to come !!! Ha, ha. Chemo makes your skin go a bit yellow so I've been using more blush than normal, until now. :p

After the appointment with the public hospital plastic surgeon, waiting 2 hours and being bumped to a different dr's list, I started to feel nervous about public. Then when meeting with the plastic surgeon, I got the feeling they wouldn't look at anything outside the way they have always done it and the new technologies available were not yet allowed in the public system.

In the meantime, after seeing Damien grinsell, a plastic surgeon privately, he had taken the initiative and contacted my breast surgeon for a discussion and had written a detailed report to my GP. Even though I hadn't decided to go with him yet and had a tentative 2nd appointment booked, by the time I got to see my breast surgeon privately, she was okay with everything that he was proposing, even though the order of things will be changed on his request. 

I was stressed about asking her about changing up the order, whether she could work with him, can they work in the same hospital etc.,. But it was all taken away, when she opened with that she had spoken to him and she is happy to work with him and even suggested if I'm happy not to keep looking as he is one of the best. He teaches in internationally and has championed this method here in Australia. So everything fell into place and we are going with the private system and I will be wearing our trip to America on my chest!!!! Ouch...$$$$$ or Alexander's 1st year of high school tuition fees and then some....😯

My priority was just to get the cancer out of my body, but then you also want to look as normal as possible under clothes. And then your next consideration is minimal surgeries, best up-to-the-minute methods being used to minimize management impact on your life long term. Then there's implants versus autologous (my own skin/muscle) which all going well, will require no future maintenance like implants do. I just want minimal surgeries and get it finished with an end date. Albeit, a major surgery with a longer recovery, but then it's all over!

So the Order of things has been changed as Public won't do radiotherapy on an intact cancer ridden breast it must be removed first, so this is a new technique where everyone is in agreement that it won't make any difference to getting the cancer cells and Damien has performed 31 of these so far with good results. I guess it's a bit like me having had chemo first (neoadjuvent) before mastectomy which is a new technique so they can see how chemo effects the tumours. Otherwise they are only guessing by taking it off first and its an insurance policy of chemo after mastectomy as they don't know the impact of chemo. New order:

- radiotherapy, December/January??

- surgery February 2016

It sounds like this will speed up everything and surgery will be done all at once rather than a 2 stage process. Well I'm just guessing, so a meeting next Tuesday with Damien Grinsell will confirm everything and book it all in. 

Anyway until Tuesday, I'll know more....