Bloody seroma

It's back! After finally getting to a point of no more draining of the fluid buildup in my donor site, it's bloody back. I don't know why, but it feels like I have a 3rd hip attached to me. Kind of uncomfortable but not painful.

Wearing sports compression shorts, like bike shorts to keep it all together.

I'm not sure how I'll go traveling - I guess it will just have to wait until we get back if it fills up over there.

Heading off to the plastic surgeon tomorrow during work to drain it again. :(

Home from hospital

I'm feeling like the world has lifted from my shoulders.



Home from day surgery - a cystoscopy to investigate a urinary problem which we linked with the blood in catheter at last surgery. I've had 2 and a half weeks of mental aerobics with what might be the cause and after visiting an oncology urologist "just wanted to rule 'you know what' out.

But apart from some evidence from trauma (surgery catheter) my doc said all is normal!!!! With a smiley face drawn next to my Polaroids. Yippee I even have some Polaroids of my healthy bladder - what we do with them I'm not sure? It's not something you could stick on the fridge "hey look everyone - so proud", "I just wanted you to get to know me better - from the inside out!" I guess now with the days of selfies - "here is my bladder selfie!!!" I bet you don't have one of those. At least I didn't Facebook it...some might.

Anyway, now we can continue with confidence when booking our holiday to the U.S. I kept self talking to myself to try and stay positive that it is nothing, but those doubtful thoughts would creep in sometimes if I wasn't careful.

Of course it is difficult not to think the worst after everything. Googling my cystitis symptoms comes up with some scary stuff, especially after breast cancer. Sooo now still wondering what it is? Probably all to do with that Zoladex injection for sure. We are just not friends that drug and I. But at least the hives seem to have settled down. Andres handed me a drumstick ice cream at swimming the other day filled with peanuts. I thought now is as good a time as any - I had my antihistamine in my bag. It was only itchy fingers and swollen lips but I didn't use the antihistamine like last time. So perhaps the drug is slowly dissipating out of my body so my histamine levels aren't on alert so much. Well that's my theory based on a few things that I read.

When I arrived bright and early this morning, the dreaded feeling of my last surgery came flooding back to me. Wondering what I was going to look like when I woke up and what were they going to find with the pathology result. My double file was sitting on my bed - gosh it was as thick as 2 family photo albums. That's a first, they must have went digging for some dirt on me and came up with this folder with 3 Caesarean sections. My new surgery file from March was just as thick. It was killing me sitting in front of me and not being able to read it. I wonder what the comments might be - 'difficult patient', 'hypochondriac', "she asked for a room with a view - we aren't the bloody Hilton lady", "too many visitors - sounds like a party in there without the Greek dancing".

I only say that because of what I write in my own clients' comments at work - I even have less than complimentary tags for some dodgy leads who are mostly competitors faking interest to get a log in trial to our system. In some ways it's like a sport for me, investigating and flushing them out of the genuine leads I get. I should have been a cop - uncovering B.S.

So while I am home relaxing after my 'little sleep' this morning, I may as well finish booking and researching our trip with more vigour. Happy Tuesday everyone, there's a 12 year old party to organize :)

Here we go.....

Tamoxifen - an estrogen hormone blocker!



Designed to stop any recurrence of cancer in my body as my cancer was estrogen fed. I have been staring at this bottle for a few weeks wondering what side effects it's going to bring me. Hmmmm...tomorrow is as good as any day I guess.

School holidays have been a time of juggling work and the kids and their social events. It has been pretty quiet due to our planning for the U.S.

We took in a movie, Finding Dora and a morning at Latitude trampolining and wall climbing. The weather in Melbourne has been awful so mostly indoor activities.

My baby boy turned 12! What a fast 12 years and a reminder of how old I am :( The family came over and indulged him with gifts and singing happy birthday. I made a cake which I got lost in doing on the day. Cutting it fine I know. He wants some mates together in the next couple of weeks so will sort that out soon.

But everyday is a blessing and even while today was hurricane winds there was a blue sky and sunshine for me to enjoy some mindfulness. Sometimes john and I talk about winning the lotto to buy ourselves a beloved Victorian/Federation home in the Eastern suburbs of Melbourne, but we don't have a spare 5 or 6 million that they are now being sold for. But it is a good opportunity to ground ourselves and remind ourselves that we got better than the Lotto, we found this shitty disease EARLY!!!