1 Year Anniversary of "you have cancer"

Well yesterday passed uneventfully - the 5th June 2015. Do you know where you were that day?

We spent yesterday driving through the misty rainforest of the Dandenongs. Devonshire Tea at Olinda Cafe and wandering through the villages of Olinda and Sassafras. I picked up some beautiful hand cream handmade up there for myself as a treat and the kids were spoilt at the Biggest Lollyshop. We had left behind a bottle of Verve when we stayed up there 2 weeks prior, so we went back to pick it up and show the kids around. We did mean to take them to William Rickett gardens, but it was raining and would be too wet and slippery.



It was 1 year ago that we sat in that Breastscreen waiting room after being called back and having further tests 2 days prior. Its a day that is very difficult to forget and is vivid in my brain. I remember what I was wearing, noticing that we were being kept for last. There was a lot of activity and a lot of apologies to us for keeping us waiting. I could sense the extra empathy and attention we were being paid by the nurse. Turns out she was waiting for the complete pathology results as there were some pages missing which dictated the type of cancer I had. She also knew my result and what was to come.

As we were ushered into the little room, I remember that I sat down and John was just closing the door when my now, breast surgeon opened my file and said the words "you have cancer"......just like that. John sat down very slowly and put his head in his hands. My breast surgeon continued to go through the results, while I stared at her stockings. They were patterned and I was thinking that she shouldnt wear patterned stockings with the patterned dress she had on - it was a big clash.......anything to take my mind of what she was saying. I did want to know, but I didnt. Much like a car crash on a freeway as you pass. You dont want to look, but you want to know what's going on.

She started again, I was thinking about the kids being motherless and then back to what she was saying. John asked a couple of questions, but otherwise we were crying, as was the very apologetic nurse. The nurse and I had spent quite some time together, with my boob out on the table while the radiographer was taking biopsies and more and more images. I knew they were looking for something with those images. I just didnt understand the extent of what they were seeing. Calcification was the only word mentioned when lying there with the nurse and radiographer.

Back to my breast surgeon, I managed to pull myself together, after consoling John.....and the nurse, and asked what now? what has to happen, when and how. She did keep expressing that this is a good cancer, being hormone receptive so they can treat it easily, and hey have been treating if for over 20 years now with the same regime. She explained we dont know how I will respond to treatment, we just have to start. Right upfront they knew that I had to have chemo, radiotherapy and mastectomy to overcome it. There was no negotiations.

They made an appointment for me at my GP that afternoon, so we could start in the clinic on the Tuesday to get things moving. The St Vincents Cancer Centre and Chemotherapy was next stop on this journey.

I wish I could say that this is over, and I guess the Cancer part is, but the ongoing therapies and surgeries are still in my sights. Perhaps by January 2017 it will all be over - I certainly hope so.