Scary Days

Today I had to take some big breaths.

The past 2 days I have been waiting to hear from my oncology gynocologist.  Wednesday morning I went and had my internal scan to check the lining of my uterus since being on Tamoxifen.  I had ignored my oncologist and breast surgeon, and thought it might be good for me to get a baseline scan before starting Tamoxifen since it can thicken the uterus lining and cause uterine cancer.

Thankfully my onco gyno agreed with me and gave me the referral back in August last year. It had been 6 months and I had a referral for another one.  I received a call from the ultrasound clinic by 11am advising that there was something picked up in the scan when comparing my baseline scan.  He was sending through the report to her and she will decide the next course of action.

So I have been patiently waiting for 2 days.  This afternoon I received the call from her rooms....and thankfully she sees no hurry to do anything right now.  Take a breath.

She has suggested that we watch and wait.  I have a 7mm polyp in my uterus, but it has no blood supply.  She is not worried at this point.  So we are relieved for now anyway.  I might consider a hysterectomy or at least a curette, but will wait for her written letter and seeing her at a later date.  As I have always taken affirmative action throughout this process, I might push for doing something rather than waiting.

I received some other good news that Jana got in to the high school that we wanted, Our Ladies of Mercy College (OLMC).  Some of Jana's friends didn't get an offer, so there was some text messages and nail biting moments. Heidi volunteered to swing by my letterbox while I was at work to put us all out of our misery.  And she phoned with the good news.   Take another breath.

Tomorrow is Jana's Confirmation night so we have been getting organised for that.

John's last day today as well - he will be a house husband for a little while - at least until he gets another job.  So far he hasnt had much luck securing anything, but at least the redundancy will see us through.

I love Gabapentin

Today was my catch up with my breast surgeon.  The appointment was light hearted as we laughed that I no longer remembered what floor she was on when pressing the elevator button. It's been fantastic living life normally without all of the appointments. I remember waiting for her appointments nervously not knowing what she was going to say after each MRI or test result.

She checked me over and said that the next appointment would be an ultrasound.  Now there is no breast tissue to mammogram, she will be checking the skin to see if anything appears there from any random cells and also the lymph nodes to make sure nothing else develops there.

I see the radiation oncologist in June, my plastic surgeon on 5 May and I need to have an ultrasound for the oncology gynocologist which I need to book yet. This is to check for any side effects from Tamoxifen, which can cause uterine thickening, which can then turn into cancerous cells.

I have been to the menopause clinic at the Royal Womens Hospital who put me on Gabapentin. I take this each night, with a Tamoxifen chaser.  In bed each night felt like I have electric shocks through my hands and feet, and burning under my feet - its crazy trying to get to sleep. This drug is used for nerve pain and epilepsy. Noone really knows where the nerve pain is from - it could be from the Tamoxifen, or the lack of estrogen (menopause) or from chemotherapy. Or all of those things.  The pain on the top of my feet in the mornings when I wake up has to be from Tamoxifen for sure.

It will be 2 years since diagnosis in June. I still have a little bit to go of treatment, but at least active treatment is finished.  Sometimes I wonder if the worrying will stop - if I keep busy enough it does, but there are always those quiet times and at the least expected times.

Inverloch

OTIS Foundation Family Getaway, Inverloch

Its been a while since I’ve written anything here.  Its been great to have some time-out of this experience and enjoy some normality, well my new normal.

I have taken the opportunity to take up a gift from the OTIS Foundation.  They offer free accommodation to breast cancer patients.  There are several property owners who donate some weeks to the Foundation.  The place we are staying is in Inverloch, in Gippsland, Victoria called Merrileugh.

I sit here looking across the farm and out to the sea.  It is breathtaking and almost criminal that I am typing on my computer.  I will share some of this place with you in photo’s but its better than the photos.

We had a great holiday to the USA last year, it was life changing for the kids, and fun to share it with them. It was action packed and busy. But it wasn’t all that relaxing, except for some wise extended bookings in a resort at Universal Studios where we relaxed by the pool.

But this is totally good for the soul.  There are cows, and sprawling farm land, dogs and cats, a tennis court, ping pong table and of course the surf beach is just down the road.  Its funny I thought of the movie, Beaches.  The kids bundled me up in blankets and put me in a sun lounge chair out on the deck with pillows for wind break as they played coits on the lawn.  It was a moment worth savouring. Andres asked me to blow a fairy and make a wish. Mine was to live a long and healthy life and see my babies get married and have babies themselves.

In terms of this BC story, I have visited the menopause clinic and they gave me some medication to deal with the leg nerve pain that keeps me awake at night.  The good side effect of this is that it makes you drowsy. This is a great benefit to overcome hot flushes and helping me sleep.

At my oncology appointment in February, my oncologist told me that I should be exercising 6 times a week to help in keeping any recurrence away.  So I drag my sorry self up at 6am and swim 300 metres at least 3 times per week, and the other days John and I go for long walks/jog.  Although I’m going to miss daylight savings with dark nights and dark mornings.

We've had fun together, but we all missed John of course. There's been dinosaur digs at a known dig site, going down an old coal mine, 65 metres below the surface and surfing lessons at Inverloch beach.  The lack of technology has made a huge difference to our re-connecting after the last 2 years.

'Bella' the friendly cat

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