4th September

Wow - so that was a ride! So finally feeling more normal now - 7 days post chemo.  I was really sick on day 3 this time, hopefully I'll have lesser side effects with the new regime. 

Tuesday is MRI staging so looking forward to that and visualizing a no tumours left result!!! Although I won't have the results until the following Tuesday 15 with the breast surgeon.

I read the other day about an author who had written a book about coincidence and that its God sending a message - his book is 'God Winks'. I don't know if you believe in God but it's worth a thought about coincidental circumstances that make you change direction or effect a course of action, each 'message' - a God wink. But.......you have to be listening!!!!!

Before my diagnosis, 

- I had decided to get fitter and healthier and concentrate on what and who was important in life. 

- John had lost an elderly aunt that we had meant to visit in Werribee, but never made the time on a weekend and then it was too late, she passed away quietly one morning.

- I was dragging my friend Heidi off to mole screen to check our moles from the bad habits of our sun tanning childhood, and get them recorded and raise our awareness

- I was getting back in touch with people that mattered rather than making excuses about how busy life is. 

- I went for my mammogram after 2 friends were diagnosed and a 3rd told me her mum's story

I was making some positive changes in my life, like a mid life crisis, And then wammo - I got my diagnosis, which I would never have known about if I hadn't been focussing on my health and it would have been too late to be classified as 'early'.

It still surprises me, that women I talk to still have not had a mammogram.  I wonder if I take my wig off and show them my bald head, or hear the fears of my children, or watch when I lay in bed at night wondering if they've missed something in my body scans....would they think it's worth the inconvenience of a 15 minutes of bearing your chest to a stranger to photograph once every 2 years? 

A mammogram should be treated the same as a Pap smear for every women over 40, the timing of them booked together every 2 years and yearly if you have something of interest. Getting it early has better outcomes/prognosis. As my gynecologist said to me when the breast starts to change after 40, each change can be picked up with the historical scans and it is the best defense - so why wouldn't you???!!!!! I wish I had gone back 6 months earlier at 2 years.

Being there for your kids should be at least 1 motivation to get it done. 

Anyway, off my soapbox now.

Friday 18th is booked for my chemo - new drug, new side effects, hopefully my hair can start to recover and no more dizziness after administering chemo......OR on Tuesday 15th appointment with my surgeon, the results of my scan suggest that we stop chemo and start the surgery journey?????  All will be revealed - so cross your fingers and toes with me on Tuesday that fat f$&k and his friends are GONE!!!!

Tuesday is also an appointment with the Look Good Feel Better program where I get a makeup goodie bag and learn how to draw on my eyebrows now that they've thinned out somewhat. Hopefully they don't fall out completely :(