25 May 2016 - another horse injection

Time for the horse injection again

I've just filled my syringe script - at the last minute! I'm lucky that chemist warehouse, my friend George happened to have some. He suggested I didn't leave it to the last minute next time, in fact he is putting me on a reminder list where they sms you each month. Now I'm sitting in a cafe waiting for my emla cream to work. It apparently numbs the area so I've lathered it in a place I think they will inject it and have to rub some more on half an hour before. George thinks I'll 'toughen up' and won't need the Emla cream anymore. Ha...

Visiting my PS yesterday, he said its nice to get to know his patients more personally rather than from a medical speak, now that we have our weekly catchup. We always have small talk as he drains out the fluid. Yesterday was 65 Mls so here's hoping its reducing. He's put some steroid in it this time to see if that stops the body building up fluid. My physio also tried lymphatic drainage, but as she said this is a different type of fluid build up to what she is used to. Anyway I had my bum rubbed all the same.

Surgery is most probably October or November - it seems it was based around my doctors but now our ability to go away is largely resting on John's work. It seems like there are always obstacles for us to go and if I was a superstitious person perhaps it is happening for a reason....

We had a beautiful weekend up at the Dandenongs at mountain retreat at ferny creek. What a little piece of heaven. It was a beautiful cottage amongst the trees with organic hamper, fireplace and spa in a modern little cottage. We had a wedding on the Sunday night which was so romantic and intimate I cried several times throughout the ceremony and speeches. It was our first time away together for more than 1 night since we had the kids. You forget what it feels like to be a couple and not mum and dad for a bit. John even made me breakfast with all of the little touches, candles, juice, pancakes, table set. I could get used to that. We pottered around Sassafras and Olinda villages exploring the little shops and wandered through William Ricketts gardens - it was freezing.




The same weekend we had Alex' Confirmation. I was privileged to be asked to be Nathan's sponsor as well. It was quite a touching moment. Not what I had expected. The Bishop was very personable and reached out to the kids. When he did the blessing for Nathan as I put my hand on his shoulder, it was very meaningful. The parents wouldn't have experienced it being so far away - it was such an intimate moment between the child and the bishop and sponsor.

As I sat there, I still thank God every day that I am here to experience my kids and their special moments, and for giving me the insight to have things checked out, even without anything to check. It is hard not to feel a little scared that it may have spread and I am always alarmed by the way my doctors describe me as high risk for secondary. But I have to believe that we are doing everything in our knowledge to overcome any recurrence. I have to think logically. Being on the forums, listening to some ladies who have secondary cancers but still living life, it makes me sad but their attitude toward life is precious and keeps me humble and makes me realize how lucky I am. How could you lie down and get all sad and depressed knowing they have more right to that than me but they don't and they choose living life.

Now we are back in the everyday, back at work but grateful to have such an emotion packed, re-setting weekend.

Survivorship

So I was scheduled for a meeting with the Assoc Prof Snyder of the oncology unit at St Vincent's. I wasn't exactly sure of why I was going, I assumed perhaps to check on any long term side effects maybe?

Anyway after filling in a long questionnaire I spent a couple of hours with the Professor. It seems that maybe I'm doing okay. I suspect it is mainly to assist those with little or no support and who can't get on with their lives....whether living in fear or can't get past it. He actually skipped whole pages of the questionnaire with me. Where I thought my side effects from the chemo and the chemopause were effecting my life, he said I'm doing very well and have come out of the treatment with little side effects!!!!!!!! Really!!!! I guess it's all relative, for a healthy person with very few ailments with my body to now getting out of bed or out of a chair with joints of an 80 year old is not really a concern for him.

So he did kindly tell me that I am a low risk for breast cancer - Shut the Front Door!!!!!!! I did wonder if I was talking to the right person for a minute or he had the wrong file in front of him....

With further discussion, I SHOULD have been low risk based on my profile. There is some concern that with girls developing as young as 9 these days means a longer period in their life with estrogen in their bodies. I was 16/17 before worrying about womanhood.

Pregnancy and breastfeeding give our bodies a break from the hormone and especially if it's before 35 - I was 35 and had 3 and breastfed for 6 months.

Also there is no cancer with my immediate relatives. But there is an online test somewhere that tells you this - I did it when I was diagnosed and lied to it saying I didn't have breast cancer and it told me I was a low risk.

Moving on I still have to decide whether to get my ovaries out. I'll be having my Zolidex - horse injection in a few weeks and start the aromatase inhibitor every day soon.

My surgery was booked for 24 June but my breast surgeon is still on maternity leave and can't do it until August. We were hoping to go to Disneyworld in September so that won't work. I'm 9 weeks out now and still having my hip drained of a seroma. So either I go with a different breast surgeon for June or I put it off until the end of the year - Nov/Dec. this is disappointing. We were hoping to have the major parts of it all over with and then go on our holiday. I'm trying to tell myself that this order would be better anyway - I can concentrate on getting healthy and fit for the holiday instead of the op in 6 weeks.

Here's my treatment plan art piece - only 1 more thing to do, not including the next 5-10 years of hormone treatment and possibly 3 years of injections.

I threw in a photo of my Mum and I for Mothers Day tribute and 40 odd years on and I realise I have the same hairstyle of new hair :)

I was also given a little circular pillow from Think Pink to sit on with my seroma, Andres decided it would be good for his teddy - so nicked it from me :) cute though...

Miss Jana and I were talking about how my Aunty just made 100 years old and how our friend, Heidi still has her grandmothers alive in their 90's - long living women. She said to me "well that's you too now Mum, now all that 'nonsense' is over with'. I chuckled to myself, yes it is Nonsense!! What a great word for it :)