I've just filled my syringe script - at the last minute! I'm lucky that chemist warehouse, my friend George happened to have some. He suggested I didn't leave it to the last minute next time, in fact he is putting me on a reminder list where they sms you each month. Now I'm sitting in a cafe waiting for my emla cream to work. It apparently numbs the area so I've lathered it in a place I think they will inject it and have to rub some more on half an hour before. George thinks I'll 'toughen up' and won't need the Emla cream anymore. Ha...
Visiting my PS yesterday, he said its nice to get to know his patients more personally rather than from a medical speak, now that we have our weekly catchup. We always have small talk as he drains out the fluid. Yesterday was 65 Mls so here's hoping its reducing. He's put some steroid in it this time to see if that stops the body building up fluid. My physio also tried lymphatic drainage, but as she said this is a different type of fluid build up to what she is used to. Anyway I had my bum rubbed all the same.
Surgery is most probably October or November - it seems it was based around my doctors but now our ability to go away is largely resting on John's work. It seems like there are always obstacles for us to go and if I was a superstitious person perhaps it is happening for a reason....
We had a beautiful weekend up at the Dandenongs at mountain retreat at ferny creek. What a little piece of heaven. It was a beautiful cottage amongst the trees with organic hamper, fireplace and spa in a modern little cottage. We had a wedding on the Sunday night which was so romantic and intimate I cried several times throughout the ceremony and speeches. It was our first time away together for more than 1 night since we had the kids. You forget what it feels like to be a couple and not mum and dad for a bit. John even made me breakfast with all of the little touches, candles, juice, pancakes, table set. I could get used to that. We pottered around Sassafras and Olinda villages exploring the little shops and wandered through William Ricketts gardens - it was freezing.
The same weekend we had Alex' Confirmation. I was privileged to be asked to be Nathan's sponsor as well. It was quite a touching moment. Not what I had expected. The Bishop was very personable and reached out to the kids. When he did the blessing for Nathan as I put my hand on his shoulder, it was very meaningful. The parents wouldn't have experienced it being so far away - it was such an intimate moment between the child and the bishop and sponsor.
As I sat there, I still thank God every day that I am here to experience my kids and their special moments, and for giving me the insight to have things checked out, even without anything to check. It is hard not to feel a little scared that it may have spread and I am always alarmed by the way my doctors describe me as high risk for secondary. But I have to believe that we are doing everything in our knowledge to overcome any recurrence. I have to think logically. Being on the forums, listening to some ladies who have secondary cancers but still living life, it makes me sad but their attitude toward life is precious and keeps me humble and makes me realize how lucky I am. How could you lie down and get all sad and depressed knowing they have more right to that than me but they don't and they choose living life.
Now we are back in the everyday, back at work but grateful to have such an emotion packed, re-setting weekend.
The privilege belonged to us to have you as Nathan's sponsor. He couldn't have made a better choice. Thank you for being there for him. It meant the world to all of us xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Heidi/Natasha for being Alex'. Sponsor it was perfect considering we both have known these respective kids since 3 yr old kinder. And you know he considers you his surrogate mum.
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