I farewelled the guys at Axion after 4 years of service - it was sad handing in my keys, carpark, laptop and phone. Saying goodbye to my chair and all the good times I had with the guys - I'm guessing they wont miss my constant chatter and Seinfeld style of conversation about my family and the antics. Headphones were a common accessory worn by the others at work, so I had to talk to myself in the end.
But I'm also looking forward to some 'me' time and getting my brain right. Unfortunately my thoughts haven't caught up with my 'cured' status and had a few 'average' moments of fear at the slightest ailment, so I need to get that right for now. So I'm off to see someone to help me with that :)
Another reason for resigning was to take pressure off when recovering from surgery which was to be on the 24th June. You wouldn't believe it, but I received a call that night from the doctors rooms cancelling my surgery!! They did try and move me to the following week due to an emergency breast cancer case, so I was happy to move it to the following Friday, but it didn't suit him. I was told it was cancelled altogether as his Mum had passed away. They re-booked it the next day to the 21st July.
So what was I going to do now that I've resigned?? At least it gives me time to chill out, get fit and healthy and sort my life out. The house needs some serious attention and I need to sit with myself for a little bit to work out what I want to do. I may do some volunteer work or something, I'm not sure. In the meantime, I'll get my shoulder sorted - need to have some cortisone injections in my calcification, so hopefully that will be all sorted in time for surgery.
The timing has been pretty good, with 1 week at home before I have all the kidlets home for school holidays. I have 1 of them home as high school finished up a week earlier. His brain is being fried as we speak as he has been glued to the computer screen for most of the day. I'd take him out but the Melbourne weather is shite at the moment. Grey and cold. I went for a run this morning and it was freezing, oh well at least I run faster to get warm.
Yesterday marked my beautiful angel friend, Cora's birthday. I went through some of my treasures from her and lit a candle for her. She is still very much in my thoughts on various days. She is still very much missed - she would have been 57.
That's all my news for now - love and light to everyone :)
27 June 2017
13 June 2017
Scanxiety
I had another relief moment today.
I have had shoulder pain since February this year, I've seen a physio who has massaged it and given me exercises all to no relief. I saw my oncologist and asked her about it, because I found some random case in Singapore of a lady who had the exact breast effected by cancer and the other shoulder developing metastic cancer cells. To which my Oncologist laughed and said she had never heard of this before and suggested I have an ultrasound to check things out.
I went to have an ultrasound last week, and when I phoned through for the results, the nurse told me that my doctor wanted to see me, but it wasn't urgent. Now considering where my head has been lately, this was the last thing I needed to hear. As it was, the sonographer was measuring a suspiciously round blob on my shoulder and then they sent me off to x-ray as well. My mind has been racing ever since.
Today, I was so relieved to be told by my doctor that it is just calcification that needs a cortisone injection to reduce it so then it can heal. I've never heard of it before so Dr Googled it of course and this is what it came up with. Degenerative or Reactive Calcific Tendonitis........
So a needle will be injected into the site with local anaesthetic first followed by the cortisone injection.
My decision is whether to do it before surgery next Friday or after it, somewhere in between getting a curette for my polyps. I may as well get all this done this year so only pay my excess once. I might save it up for after surgery as I will need to lie on my sides and squashing my shoulder may not be the best thing for it while it is trying to heal itself after the cortisone does its job.
My doc couldn't tell me why it has occurred - maybe from my bat-out-of-hell swimming, with no warm-up before it. Finally, with swimming, I started to get rid of the handbag feeling under my arms after the surgery and possibly fluid build-up or whatever that feeling was. No one seemed to know - not my plastic surgeon, not my breast surgeon, not my GP.
There is a lot to this process that you have to find out for yourself otherwise you'll be left wondering. It has been helpful being part of 'reclaim your curves' Facebook group as there is lots of discussion about the different aspects of the surgery and beyond. But there is also a lot of sadness in that group with many women with metastic cancer or where they had 'early breast cancer' only for it to spread to Stage IV (metastic) where there is no cure only treatment to control it for a period of time.
Anyway, happy news for me today even though I have to have a procedure to deal with it. Only 1 week and 1 day left of work. My GP did say that I needed to find a balance as too much time on my hands might also be detrimental to my mental health.
I have had shoulder pain since February this year, I've seen a physio who has massaged it and given me exercises all to no relief. I saw my oncologist and asked her about it, because I found some random case in Singapore of a lady who had the exact breast effected by cancer and the other shoulder developing metastic cancer cells. To which my Oncologist laughed and said she had never heard of this before and suggested I have an ultrasound to check things out.
I went to have an ultrasound last week, and when I phoned through for the results, the nurse told me that my doctor wanted to see me, but it wasn't urgent. Now considering where my head has been lately, this was the last thing I needed to hear. As it was, the sonographer was measuring a suspiciously round blob on my shoulder and then they sent me off to x-ray as well. My mind has been racing ever since.
Today, I was so relieved to be told by my doctor that it is just calcification that needs a cortisone injection to reduce it so then it can heal. I've never heard of it before so Dr Googled it of course and this is what it came up with. Degenerative or Reactive Calcific Tendonitis........
So a needle will be injected into the site with local anaesthetic first followed by the cortisone injection.
My decision is whether to do it before surgery next Friday or after it, somewhere in between getting a curette for my polyps. I may as well get all this done this year so only pay my excess once. I might save it up for after surgery as I will need to lie on my sides and squashing my shoulder may not be the best thing for it while it is trying to heal itself after the cortisone does its job.
My doc couldn't tell me why it has occurred - maybe from my bat-out-of-hell swimming, with no warm-up before it. Finally, with swimming, I started to get rid of the handbag feeling under my arms after the surgery and possibly fluid build-up or whatever that feeling was. No one seemed to know - not my plastic surgeon, not my breast surgeon, not my GP.
There is a lot to this process that you have to find out for yourself otherwise you'll be left wondering. It has been helpful being part of 'reclaim your curves' Facebook group as there is lots of discussion about the different aspects of the surgery and beyond. But there is also a lot of sadness in that group with many women with metastic cancer or where they had 'early breast cancer' only for it to spread to Stage IV (metastic) where there is no cure only treatment to control it for a period of time.
Anyway, happy news for me today even though I have to have a procedure to deal with it. Only 1 week and 1 day left of work. My GP did say that I needed to find a balance as too much time on my hands might also be detrimental to my mental health.
05 June 2017
Phase 3 of Breast Cancer Recovery and 2 years post diagnosis
2 years today since diagnosis.
I came across an article the other day. It seemed to hit home on exactly the day I was feeling overwhelmed by what I have been through. For those of you that have ran this race with me, you would probably wonder what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get on and live my life now that I've been cured? I would think that too - if I wasn't me.
I can only describe the terror of a diagnosis as something along the lines of maybe (?) what the terror attacks are like for those involved. I don't know and I'd hate to trivialise what those people go through but it is potentially loss of your life in front of your eyes? Its a terror in every limb in your body and I have never experienced anything like it in my lifetime until then. That same feeling, is what I feel when I have an unexplained pain or hear of some news of a breast cancer survivor having a return as stage IV - like Olivia Newton-John. It sends me to a darker place. I have been brave for everyone and brave for me and now it's time for me to allow me to grieve. Grieve for my old body, to be scared and allow myself to be. And then get on with it......
I've taken a snippet from the article, a fellow breast cancer survivors' blog that explains exactly where I am right now (just before I get on with it).
So I have resigned from work and I'm going to take some time for me and for my brain to catch up with all of this. My last day will be the day before my next surgery 23rd June....... Coffee anyone???
Time to finish colouring in my picture too.
*********
The third phase of breast cancer is vastly different from the first two phases.
Discovery and initial treatment are over. You may have moved into a maintenance stage of care where you only see doctors for periodic checkups. For the most part, you’re on your own. There’s no safety net of medical staff constantly hovering around you. This is a doubt filled and fearful time.
Of course, your doctors are still available should you need them, but they aren’t constant in your life now. This stage is just as important as your active treatment phase and will require you to listen carefully to your body. During the recovery period, the third phase of breast cancer, your focus will shift from the world of treatment to regaining control of your life. You’ll start to pay close attention to your body learning to understand the signals it gives you. Your body will begin to work its way back to health. Our bodies are made for this! Our bodies are miraculous and are always in the process of healing from injury. For example, before breast cancer, have you ever suffered a cut on your body?
Over a period of days, your body worked hard to repair the damage. Even if the cut was minor and all you did was clean the wound with soap and water, your body spoke to the skin and tissue cells telling them where the injury was located and how to heal it. Slowly and surely, the wound began to close. A scab formed and after the scab loosened and fell off, new skin began to grow. Before you knew it, the wound had healed. You may have been left with a small scar but the wound was gone! Your body had done its job. It was a tiny miracle. In the same way as the tiny cut healed, our bodies are programmed to find ways to repair and heal larger wounds.
After active treatment has ended, it’s time to focus on optimising your health. This might include changing your diet, adding exercise, or taking natural supplements. This is a time where you want to provide the best possible environment for restorative healing to take place. Not only will you want to provide good physical changes for your body, you’ll also want to provide good mental changes.
Eliminating stress is a good way to help your body stay in a positive healing state. Your body is a powerful thing. It will signal you when you’re dealing with things that negatively affect your health.
You may find yourself dealing with frequent headaches, stomachaches, or you may feel anxious. These are signals that say your body is suffering undue pressure. As you listen to your body, you’ll find it necessary to combat these symptoms. The remedy may be as simple as removing yourself from a situation or taking a hot bath. As you learn to understand and eliminate stress in your life, you’ll find your health being optimized.
The journey to health after breast cancer is never really over. The road to recovery will take the rest of your life. Every step along the way will provide its own unique experience. Yes, breast cancer was a huge detour along your life path. Your road was filled with many twists, turns, and unexpected challenges but your final destination hasn’t been reached yet. The best thing you can do, as you travel the road to recovery, is to set your sights on enjoying each day as it comes. Take one day at a time and do the best you can to stay healthy. Listen to your body and let it guide you along the way. Try not to compare your journey to those of others. You are unique. Your journey is yours.
- See more at: http://www.curetoday.com/community/bonnie-annis/2017/05/the-road-to-recovery-after-cancer#sthash.F901j3qI.dpuf
I came across an article the other day. It seemed to hit home on exactly the day I was feeling overwhelmed by what I have been through. For those of you that have ran this race with me, you would probably wonder what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get on and live my life now that I've been cured? I would think that too - if I wasn't me.
I can only describe the terror of a diagnosis as something along the lines of maybe (?) what the terror attacks are like for those involved. I don't know and I'd hate to trivialise what those people go through but it is potentially loss of your life in front of your eyes? Its a terror in every limb in your body and I have never experienced anything like it in my lifetime until then. That same feeling, is what I feel when I have an unexplained pain or hear of some news of a breast cancer survivor having a return as stage IV - like Olivia Newton-John. It sends me to a darker place. I have been brave for everyone and brave for me and now it's time for me to allow me to grieve. Grieve for my old body, to be scared and allow myself to be. And then get on with it......
I've taken a snippet from the article, a fellow breast cancer survivors' blog that explains exactly where I am right now (just before I get on with it).
So I have resigned from work and I'm going to take some time for me and for my brain to catch up with all of this. My last day will be the day before my next surgery 23rd June....... Coffee anyone???
Time to finish colouring in my picture too.
*********
The third phase of breast cancer is vastly different from the first two phases.
Discovery and initial treatment are over. You may have moved into a maintenance stage of care where you only see doctors for periodic checkups. For the most part, you’re on your own. There’s no safety net of medical staff constantly hovering around you. This is a doubt filled and fearful time.
Of course, your doctors are still available should you need them, but they aren’t constant in your life now. This stage is just as important as your active treatment phase and will require you to listen carefully to your body. During the recovery period, the third phase of breast cancer, your focus will shift from the world of treatment to regaining control of your life. You’ll start to pay close attention to your body learning to understand the signals it gives you. Your body will begin to work its way back to health. Our bodies are made for this! Our bodies are miraculous and are always in the process of healing from injury. For example, before breast cancer, have you ever suffered a cut on your body?
Over a period of days, your body worked hard to repair the damage. Even if the cut was minor and all you did was clean the wound with soap and water, your body spoke to the skin and tissue cells telling them where the injury was located and how to heal it. Slowly and surely, the wound began to close. A scab formed and after the scab loosened and fell off, new skin began to grow. Before you knew it, the wound had healed. You may have been left with a small scar but the wound was gone! Your body had done its job. It was a tiny miracle. In the same way as the tiny cut healed, our bodies are programmed to find ways to repair and heal larger wounds.
After active treatment has ended, it’s time to focus on optimising your health. This might include changing your diet, adding exercise, or taking natural supplements. This is a time where you want to provide the best possible environment for restorative healing to take place. Not only will you want to provide good physical changes for your body, you’ll also want to provide good mental changes.
Eliminating stress is a good way to help your body stay in a positive healing state. Your body is a powerful thing. It will signal you when you’re dealing with things that negatively affect your health.
You may find yourself dealing with frequent headaches, stomachaches, or you may feel anxious. These are signals that say your body is suffering undue pressure. As you listen to your body, you’ll find it necessary to combat these symptoms. The remedy may be as simple as removing yourself from a situation or taking a hot bath. As you learn to understand and eliminate stress in your life, you’ll find your health being optimized.
The journey to health after breast cancer is never really over. The road to recovery will take the rest of your life. Every step along the way will provide its own unique experience. Yes, breast cancer was a huge detour along your life path. Your road was filled with many twists, turns, and unexpected challenges but your final destination hasn’t been reached yet. The best thing you can do, as you travel the road to recovery, is to set your sights on enjoying each day as it comes. Take one day at a time and do the best you can to stay healthy. Listen to your body and let it guide you along the way. Try not to compare your journey to those of others. You are unique. Your journey is yours.
- See more at: http://www.curetoday.com/community/bonnie-annis/2017/05/the-road-to-recovery-after-cancer#sthash.F901j3qI.dpuf
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