The Big Little Reveal

An appointment with the nurse post op meant the big little reveal. Not quite ready for my Playboy centerfold, but a happy girl I am.

The bandages came off to reveal little pink nipples – Yay. I'm wearing plastic shields to protect them for the next 6 weeks. A bit like these but clear plastic not gold like hers.........

Although the protectors feel more like this to me.....

Don't come too close to me, or I'll poke your eye out, ha, ha.

And they are pretty bloody good, if I can say so myself.

Now I’m not being greedy and wanting a complete body retrofit, I am just aiming to get back to a little bit normal.  You know, when you catch yourself in the mirror, your body doesn’t look like its been in a Frankenstein movie and it looks somewhat normal ‘with nothing to see here’ kind of thing.

When I came out of surgery, I was pretty happy and so thankful he could even me out a bit. With one being 2 sizes bigger than the other, bra wearing and even the way that top necklines sat on my body has been challenging – I know, first world problems.  

Some people don’t have the option of reconstruction once that cancer has been cut out, or some cant have the cancer cut out at all, so I do think myself as ‘lucky’, but the effect that these small changes have made to my mood has been the most surprising.

I don’t need an Elle MacPherson body, just a somewhat ‘normal’ body without the dressing challenges. Is that too much to ask for?

I have been seeing a psyche and managing my 'monitoring'. I have to find a balance between remaining vigilant, but living my life without fear.  This is my goal when seeing her. I still have unexplained pain in my body and have just had a pelvic scan to check things out - maybe its just age, even though I always think that I'm much younger than I am.

Here's to the next 6 weeks of healing :) 

  

The Last Surgery

Today I am home from my last surgery. Well I hope it is my last anyway. 2 hours in theatre and overnight stay in hospital for pain management.

A little sore and sorry for myself, although I'm all taped up and cant see my new nips but bruised and battered everywhere around my hips.

So this is what liposuctioning is about. My plastic surgeon has sucked out some fat from my hips and put it back into my lower back. This is where the 2 scars met in the middle from the gluteal donor tissue sites and left behind a puffy pocket in between. Quite weird when wearing anything waisted as my clothes wouldn't sit flat.  He also put some back in the hollows lower down, but by all accounts I'll never be the same again. I will always have the weird divets and pockets - so I'll have to give away my bikinis :(

Normally most people get the fat removed for good, but mine was just moved to a different place. You would also wear compression shorts after, but that would squeeze my newly placed fat so thats a no-no, I can also not sit back on my bottom (only forward) and no sleeping on my back.

On the upside, he borrowed from Paul and gave to Peter and that is a huge improvement from how I have been for the past 8 or so months.  My non cancer side was so much bigger, heavy and tight. I think I had mentioned it feeling like an amputated leg stump on my chest. Well it is still slightly bigger but no way near as heavy and its softer. The cancer side is bigger and rounder so I'm happy with the girls now.

While I was in hospital, I had to share with another girl. She was having augmentation - a young girl. We got talking and she asked me excitedly what I'd had done. When I told her she was in awe of the liposuction until I told her the reason why.  That stopped her in her tracks and she contained herself. Luckily she went home instead of staying overnight, since she was bouncing around the room with her boyfriend in her exercise gear while I could hardly move from pain. It made me feel 'old'.

From what I can gather from their 'loud conversation', it seems to be a thing with most of her young friends having augmentation as well.  She was sending them photos and they were all commenting on their own experience. Rather scary really.

So just waiting for the swelling to go down to see what the final result is and I'm almost complete again - in a different way.