Goodbye to Radiotherapy

I'm sitting here getting excited that I have 3 more radio sessions before the end - yay! 25 of 28 sessions done.

So far, parts of me are very sore, it's like I'm breastfeeding all over again, but the location they've been zapping is all red. It has even gone through to my back as well - right through to the other side. Sleeping is interesting (so thankful to John agreeing to buy the portable air conditioner) and bra wearing is not possible! It's not like I have to worry about them sagging if I don't wear one - right! Since they are removing them. But I haven't lost my voice and still have good mobility of my arm.

I have started to know their routine during treatment. I watch for the red light under the doorway, knowing that there will be a clunking sound - I imagine like an accelerator, I fill my lungs and hold my breath until the zapping stops. Now I have just taken it upon myself to do that after reading that they tried this in clinical trials to protect patients lungs/heart. The radiologists say it doesn't apply to me because it was on the right side, not where my heart is, but I'm doing it anyway just in case.

I was telling a friend today how unreal it still feels and that it could be all a hoax. I had no symptoms or signs so it could just be a big joke - except for the MRI of course. With radiotherapy there is no visible sign that it's doing anything just yet - it's just an insurance policy. A very good one considering it takes my recurrence risk from 30 to 10% so I'm told by the radiation oncologist anyway.

I'm just an actor in a bad movie.

Today I got my paperwork for hospital so I filled that out and getting scared. I've joined reclaim your curves website for everything about reconstruction, but people post photos - eew. I can't look at them and I don't think I'll look at my own either until they are all healed.

I was having trouble dealing with the fact of the money I was spending on surgery being equivalent to our cancelled Disney trip. So a positive today was that we received the bill from the plastic surgeon and we can put it on credit card - giving us Qantas frequent flyer points - now that deals with my guilt well and truly.

I'm still dealing with the after effects of the chemo drugs. I still have swollen feet, but try and fit into my shoes everyday as a test to see if it has gone down.

The positives are that I've dropped another kilo over the week so the fluid is dropping but sooooo slowly. My eyes have stopped watering completely! Yay!

I have an appointment with a natural medicine GP next week to see what I can do to get this body healthy again in time for surgery. I have several appointments with my doctors and scans of my arms for connecting veins to join the buttock veins to the chest veins.  Sounds like a bad Frankenstein movie doesnt it.