Big Day

Today I'm back at the cancer centre, but thankfully not for chemo but an appointment with the oncologist. They are checking my bloods to check organ function I guess after the chemo. Let's see what happens when I talk about the toxicity and side effects I had. It's almost not worth bringing up for the predictable response!!

I've had a lovely half hour massage so I'm pretty relaxed, yesterday I had acupuncture for my legs also I had some treatment all over in preparation for surgery. Apparently it can help control pain and repair after surgery.

Then off to work to catch up and some lunch with the guys for my last day.

Then another appointment before going home to celebrate my baby boys' birthday - again!!!! The Andres festival continues. At least he was made a fuss of before my 8 days away from him. He will miss his mum more than the other 2. They will too but he's still little.

We showered him with more dinosaurs today. Having purchased his gifts early so I didn't have to worry about it amongst all of this, so I didn't anticipate all the dinosaur toys he got from his friend party. Oh well what do you do you can always have another dinosaur :)

Still nervous as hell about the op and recovery and what to expect, but at least I am busy enough to distract me. I'm rushing around doing things, I still haven't packed either. It's probably the only thing that I haven't researched and letting it happen. I have read a little bit about it but not much. It's all too grose really. I'm still not really 100% sure what my second operation is on Monday. I read up on my plastic surgeon and he was part of the team that sewed the donor hand on to a plumbers arm that hit the news some time ago - that gives me great comfort in his abilities that's for sure - which he has been telling me all along.

I was talking with some school mums today and how I will be able to point to my chest and say 'kiss my ass' - lol....It was a nice little group hug before leaving them.

I have coloured in most of my treatment plan - only a few more pieces to be coloured in.




Now that I'm looking back as I'm nearing the end of this, I realized how sick I was sometimes by photos or things that happened along the way....and how normal I always pretended to be. This was my coping mechanism - act as normal as possible then I will be normal again. Playing games in my head with what I was doing and trying to normalize it e.g. The day spa (radiotherapy) in my waffle robe having a tan ha, ha. Or the pub crawl at Christmas time, walking the 2 flights of stairs 4 steps at a time before my chest hurt and I was out of breath, walking from Fed Square to Flinders Lane almost killed me let alone the pub crawl across Melbourne to Lonsdale Street!!!! and how sober I was despite the alcohol I was drinking. Taking Alex canoeing was that little bit more crazy - huffing and puffing as my eyes dripped constantly carrying the boats and getting a good workout with the rowing.

Wearing a wig the whole time and not joining or listening to cancer groups in the early period - always mixing with 'normal' people.

So I just finished my appointment with the oncologist and yep I was right - deny the side effects, deny, deny, deny! Anyway, she has a new suggestion for me in this treatment plan to remove my ovaries or have an injection each month until they are sure I am in menopause - geez Louise - I wasn't expecting that! It turns out that I am anything but 'normal' with everything. Because I am old enough for menopause but they don't really know if I'm pre or post menopause it impacts the ongoing medication or hormone suppressant they give me. They have just found in a study that the post menopausal medication is far more effective across the entire body for blocking estrogen. So they want me to participate in a clinical trial with this but would need to ensure my ovaries didn't interfere. Another decision to be made at a later date thank you very much.

Anyway at 6:30 am tomorrow we will be at St Vincent's and Mercy in east Melbourne - my 'Hilton' for the next 8 days :)